


All That Remains

by Lgeme84



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:28:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22990102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lgeme84/pseuds/Lgeme84
Summary: Severus Snape and Hermione Granger are the sole survivors of the War. Both have been living under Muggle identities in the same U.S. city but are unaware of each other's existence. A life-changing event brings them together and the pair embark on a journey to restore their lives in the wizarding world, one way or another.
Relationships: Severus Snape/Hermione Granger
Comments: 27
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: It all belongs to JKR. I own nothing. 
> 
> I don't have an editor, so please let me know if you see anything glaring. Please provide feedback, albeit good or bad! I'm also open to suggestions on where you'd like the story to go! I have a handful of ideas but not quite sure the route I'll be going with yet. I'll say this, one of these avenues involves a time turner.

Her feet thudded vigorously against the cold, wet pavement, puddles of fresh water splashing in all directions with each frantic stride. 

Tears of fear and anger streamed down her cheeks, burned her eyes and blurred her vision as the bitter cold wind rushed relentlessly against the flushed skin of her face in her haste to get away, to not be caught by the person she was sure was in close pursuit. 

It was half past 3 a.m. on this cold and rainy late October morning, rain falling steadily from a dark and dreary sky. These quiet residential city streets were barren at this hour, save for the muffled barking of dogs that sensed some potential intruder was approaching their territory, allowing this distraught girl to flee with minimal obstacles.

As panicked as she was, her instincts bubbled at the forefront of her mind to dip between houses and use alleyways in an effort to confuse and deter her assailant. She scrambled over a short metal fence, falling hard on her side as the bottom of her shirt caught a stray wire, leaving a long tear in the fabric. 

The wind was ripped away from her lungs for a brief moment upon hitting the ground and she gasped desperately in an attempt to catch her breath. When the air finally came, she rolled over onto her front, hands and knees bracing her body as she sucked in deep, ragged breaths, allowing her lungs to expand and contract properly one more. Her heart was still thudding rapidly away in her chest as much as in her temples, but she gave herself no further time to recover, lifting herself up to her feet and resuming a full sprint once more. 

She flew past a dimly lit convenience store at the intersection of a street, made a right at the corner and continued on, not slowing her pace, ignoring the burning in her lungs and chest and throat. As images flashed before her, tears streamed even more liberally down her hot face, wet with sweat and rain.

The image of the boy that had her pressed up against the wall. 

Of his eyes, eyes that looked down at her with a dangerous emptiness. 

Of him reaching down to release himself upon her, the way he had done so many times before. 

Of a flash of bright, white light, and the boy lying still on the floor. 

_Oh my god, what have I done?_ _What have I done?_

But she was sure the boy wasn’t dead, wasn’t dead because she was certain he was chasing her now. Chasing her through the empty city streets, determined to get her back so he could continue playing with her. The sheer fear of that thought and the panic of the feeling that he was just steps behind her and she would soon feel the rough grip of his hand on her shoulder bringing her down onto the hard pavement was all that continued propelling her forward. 

****

Severus Snape brought his cigarette to his lips and inhaled deeply as he walked swiftly along the darkened sidewalk. Closing his eyes, he exhaled slowly as he savored the eerie quiet that blanketed the city in these early hours of the morning. 

He had no destination in mind, merely welcomed the solitude of these walks that were devoid of the usual bustling human presence. It was the only time he was able to remove himself from the grimness of his tiny studio apartment without being forced to bump shoulders with hundreds of strangers when the city was alive and buzzing.

There was something calming about these early morning strolls, and regardless of the weather, he made it a point to work them into his daily routine. He hardly slept these days anyway, and being locked up in a tiny little box 24 hours a day was not his idea of a remotely enjoyable existence.

The outskirts of Chicago had not been his first choice of hiding spots. Not even his second or third or fourth. He would have preferred a nice little quaint cottage in the middle of Nowhere, Britain, which likely would have sufficed for awhile, but it would have left him extremely vulnerable if anyone were to stumble upon him. It was equally as, if not more so, risky to settle in some remote village. He would surely stick out like a sore thumb, and remote villages tended to be closely knit and he certainly had no desire to become integrated into such a community.

London had crossed his mind, albeit briefly. But, too close to home. Too close to Ministry officials. Too close to people who knew him and would either strike him down on sight, or worse, collect him for confinement in Azkaban for the rest of his days. He shuddered at the thought, taking another long drag off his cigarette and releasing it in a long, thin plume that dissipated into the night.

Other European cities crossed his mind: Paris, Berlin, Amsterdam...Coopenhagen or perhaps Zurich. He had never been to that region and the neutralness of the political climate there was quite tempting. But again...still too close for comfort.

Although Australia seemed a very logical option, he hadn’t much liked the thought of being trapped on an island-continent. If he were somehow found, not having a bordering country to escape on foot was not a route he dared explore. 

So, North America had been one of the last options he considered. He had decided that wherever he ended up, it must be a city, for in a city, he could blend. He had quite prominent features, which would stand out in a more rural setting, but in a city, especially a North American city, he would simply meld into the folds with all the other unique-looking humans.

He had landed in New York and quickly bought a bus ticket to Chicago. He had no ties to the city and it was definitely a safer option than New York. New York was too busy a wizarding hub with New York City as the main headquarters for the American Wizarding Ministry.

Plus, if he  _ were  _ found, he would have various escape options out of Chicago. He could opt to go north and into Canada, west towards California, south to warmer climates or perhaps double back towards New York and end up somewhere like Cleveland or Boston. He honestly hadn’t expected to stay in the one spot for as long as he had already, and Chicago was beginning to grow on him. Especially since he began embarking on these early morning strolls. 

This particular morning, however, was a miserable one. It was not very much warmer than the freezing point and the rain coming down had soaked him to the bone. His black trousers were relatively dry, as his long black overcoat was taking the brunt of it, but the rain had soaked through the black button up shirt he wore underneath, causing the skin of his torso to become cold and clammy. 

He tightened the black scarf around his neck and flipped the collar of his coat up further to protect his neck. He took another drag of his black clove cigarette, pinched protectively between his thumb and index finger as she sheltered it with his palm from the rain. 

His mind drifted, as it usually did during these early morning wanderings, towards the life he had left behind two years prior. The events that caused his abrupt departure from Britain played out in his memories like a never ending film stuck on repeat. It grieved him to think of it, but even an accomplished Occlumens such as he couldn’t push those memories far enough down so they wouldn’t resurface on a regular basis. 

The memories haunted him. He hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in two years - longer than that, even. Oh, he dozed here and there, earning himself no more than one or two hours of restless sleep, and only when his body succumbed to sheer exhaustion, always waking more tired than before with his scattered slumbers filled with vivid nightmares.

He didn’t use magic anymore outside of his own privacy, and even then he made sure not to use it unless necessary. He cooked, cleaned, dressed and went about his day as if he were a Muggle, taking his mother’s maiden name of Prince and changing his given-name to Leonard. 

He couldn’t work, as he didn’t have the proper identification, but he had been secretly stashing cash away for years and was confident his reserves would last him close to a decade, as long as he was frugal. He had found his apartment quite by chance, taking up occupancy of a vacant unit above a bar he visited his first evening in Chicago. The bartender had been eager to rent it to him, as it had been empty for some time, and he was more than happy to accept cash payments of $400 a month from Leonard Prince, no questions asked. That was a superb deal, Severus knew, for an apartment in the city. Although, he highly suspected the bartender, a quiet hispanic fellow named Mateo Alonzo, was probably selling more than alcohol at his establishment. Mateo appeared a kind enough man, however, and as long as his dealings remained discreet, Severus didn’t really mind. 

Severus noticed the running girl three blocks ahead, rushing towards him wildly. He slowed his pace, but did not stop as her form became larger and larger as she closed the distance between them. 

She flew past him, her body bumping up against him, nearly sending her flying face first into the pavement. She stumbled, whirled, caught herself as she caught his eye, and continued her panicked fleeing. Severus did a double take when the girl caught his eye. But before he could register just who he’d seen, she scrambled to a bolt once again in the same direction.

Severus looked behind him, the way the girl had come from, and saw nobody else coming. He turned back towards where she had continued to run, watching her in utter shock as she sprinted across the intersection and halfway down the next block. 

**** 

Hermione Granger barely registered what had just happened. In her desperate need to escape, she had hardly realized she had crashed into someone. But it wasn’t just someone. It was someone she  _ knew. _ Someone from the past. 

She slowed her pace until she had stopped entirely, panting heavily from running 20-some-odd blocks by that point. Rain pelted at her skin and she huffed out a deep breath that sent water spraying from her lips. She turned her body to face the man she had crashed into a moment before, her whole body shaking and trembling with adrenaline and fear and shock and something else - something that felt like relief, but she couldn’t allow herself to feel that. Not yet. Not when she knew she had to be dreaming. 

The man had closed some distance between them, but was standing on the opposite side of the intersection still. She squinted through the rain and the distance, in disbelief of whom she was looking at. He was peering intensely at her as well, as if also trying to also sort out if she was who he thought she was. 

They started at one another a block apart in the darkness for what seemed like eternity. Hermione could feel the blood rushing through her body, temples banging against her brain, breathless and tired and feeling raw.

She took a step towards him. “Professor..?” she squeaked through the rain. Her heart was slamming against her chest, but the fear and panic had all but disappeared and was replaced with shock and utter confusion. 

“Granger?” the man she was sure was her former professor responded, as he crossed the intersection swiftly, looking at her with intent. 

That voice. She’d know that voice anywhere. It  _ was  _ him. It was Snape. But it couldn’t be, Snape was dead, along with everyone else. And if Snape was dead, this was his ghost and he had come back to haunt her. As if she didn’t have enough ghosts haunting her these days. She felt dizzy, then, caught somewhere between unconsciousness and awareness. The world seemed to be spinning and it was all she could do to avoid doubling over and emptying her stomach.

The man was closing in on her now, not 100 feet from where she stood, and she had a mind to start running again, but her feet seemed to be frozen to the ground. She swallowed the lump in her throat as this figment of her imagination closed the distance between them and was now hunched down slightly, bringing himself to her eye-level. 

“What on Earth is wrong?” he demanded, gently, though clearly alarmed. 

He let out a small huff that was somewhere between a laugh and a cry of despair and Hermione burst in tears, closing the gap and falling into him in a bout of hysterics. 

***

He wasn’t even thinking when his arms wrapped around her after she collapsed into him and began to sob. Her face was buried in his chest as she bawled and he felt her body quivering uncontrollably before her legs buckled and he was forced to his knees to bring her gently to the ground. 

After what was an agonizing amount of time, the spasms wracking her body, sobs, and heavy breathing finally slowed and subsided. A million questions were running through Severus’ mind. What is wrong with her? Who or what was she running from? How is she here? Why was she crying in his arms? What was happening? 

He waited until he felt her shift uncomfortably against him, and he moved his hand to her chin and lifted her chin gently so they were looking directly at one another. He had no idea what to say to her or how to say it. She was in a great deal of duress and if he wanted answers to his questions, he would need to tread lightly here.

“What’s happened?” 

She was looking up at him, brown eyes wide and bloodshot and filled with an emptiness that he understood all too well. She swallowed, and took a deep, shuddering breath before she said:

“I think…I just killed someone.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> A short chapter containing some answers.

Severus looked back at her diplomatically, but did not react in any way to her statement. Forget the questions, they needed to get off the street now.

“Not here,” he said, flatly. “Come with me.” He stood up and helped her to her feet, holding her hand so she could steady herself. “Stay close.” 

The pair walked steadily back across the intersection and he turned left towards his apartment. Eight blocks later, he stopped and took a key out of his pocket, turning to the right and unlocking a brown door and opening it for her before stepping inside, closing the door and locking it. 

“Up.” He said, gesturing to the dark green wooden stairs that led to his apartment unit. She followed him up the stairs and into his apartment.

Once inside, Severus locked the door and cast privacy and silencing charms before offering her the armchair that occupied the living space next to his bed. 

She sat. 

He sat on the edge of his bed, facing her, elbows resting on his knees as he leaned up against his hands which were drawn together under his chin. 

They stared at one another for what seemed like hours. All of the questions he had for her came flooding back now. He desperately wanted to know how the hell she was here in his flat right now, alive and breathing in front of him in the same goddamn dismal U.S. city. But whatever had just happened to her seemed much more of a priority at the moment. 

“Tell me what happened?” he coaxed, gently. 

She took a breath, trying to calm the nerves that were shooting in random directions all over her body. “I don’t know, I don’t know what happened...I got so scared and angry and I just  _ lost  _ it! I don’t even know how I did it, I just remember a flash of light and then he was on the ground.”

“Who was on the ground?” 

“My…” she looked around, uncomfortably. “...boyfriend. Anthony. He’s a Muggle.” 

“And why do you think you’ve killed him? Sounds like you just got him with a good Stunner.”

She shook her head. “That’s what I thought, too, which is why I was running...if he was coming after me and caught up with me…” she trailed off, refusing to allow herself to think of the horrors she would have endured had Anthony caught her. Snape raised a questioning eyebrow at that, but thought this was not the time to prod the topic.

“But then I ran into you and realized he wasn’t chasing me...and if he  _ was _ alive, he would certainly be doing so. Plus…” she hesitated.

“Go on…”

“I think the magic I sent at him was Impulsive.” 

He stared at her. Impulsive magic was something of a mystery, even to him. It had been somewhat of a myth that some children diagnosed as squibs were not actually squibs at all and were unknowingly repressing their magic, for reasons that had yet to be discovered. It had been said that when magic finally manifested for these “squibs” - usually after they came of age - it only occurred after an extremely traumatic experience, or a series of traumatic experiences over time, causing the magic to release unbeknownst to the witch or wizard. This often resulted in the death or deaths of the person or persons whom the emotion was directed at, and even the caster themselves. However, Severus had never heard of a case where Impulsive magic was released from a witch or wizard whose magic had manifested normally. 

She took a breath. “I hadn’t used magic in over a year. I wanted to disappear completely, so I broke my wand and decided to suppress my magic if I was going to truly live as a Muggle. I didn’t want to risk being found out…” she buried her face in her hands and the next words out of her mouth came out muffled and ashamed. “He pushed me too far and I couldn’t take it anymore!”

Severus didn’t need to ask what she meant. It was clear this boyfriend of hers had been abusive towards her. Whether it was physical, emotional, mental, or any combination of the sort, this was not something that needed to be immediately addressed. He certainly had never been willing to discuss any of his abusive experiences to anyone his entire life and he certainly didn’t expect this broken girl to spill all her shameful secrets to her former Potions professor. 

Before he could ask anything else on the subject at hand, he looked up at Granger who had now gone quiet and was staring up at him in wide-eyed wonderment. “How is it that you’re sitting in front of me right now?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Miss Granger. I had been wondering the same.”

It was certainly a loaded question. The last time they had seen one another was when he was dying in a pool of his own blood on the cold wooden surface of the Shrieking Shack floorboards. 

“We  _ saw _ you die, Professor.” 

He nodded. “Yes, I presume you had. I’m quite certain my heart stopped for a moment or two...long enough to convince you three I had, indeed, expired. By some small miracle, or ironic cosmic joke, I awoke and managed to get myself outside the grounds and disapparate to a safe place where I could repair myself. By the time I was in any manner of shape to return and assist once again in battle...everyone was...dead.”

Hermione swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and shut her eyes in an attempt to squeeze the memory away. 

“What exactly happened?” Snape asked her, carefully. He had known about the explosion, as much as the Ministry released to  _ The Daily Prophet  _ at least. But there was never any explanation on how or why the explosion occurred. All he knew is that it killed everyone that had been occupying the grounds of Hogwarts that one early morning in June. Up until this evening, he had been under the impression that he was the sole survivor.

Hermione took a deep breath before answering Snape’s question. “Voldemort killed Harry, thus destroying the last Horcrux. I’m guessing Harry had the Resurrection Stone and used it to come back. He and Voldemort fought, their wands connected like they had twice before, and they battled for a bit and then, the explosion. My best guess is that the explosion was a result of their two spells finally connecting.”

“And how did you survive that?” he asked, incredulous. 

“Impulsive magic...I think. I don’t even remember casting the protective charm, but I  _ do _ remember falling to the ground and covering myself...and then...it was just...quiet.” 

She was crying again, but not in the hysterical way she had been when she collapsed in the street. Just silent tears streaming evenly down her face.

“I can’t  _ believe  _ you’re alive,” she breathed, finally. “Harry told us, you know. He told everyone. At the end.” 

Severus looked up at her. “Told you what?”

“That you were with us.” Then, gesturing to his left forearm, she said: “That you weren’t  _ his. _ ” 

Well, that was something, at least.

He raked a hand through his thick, black hair. “Yes, well...it hardly matters anymore, now, does it?” 

She wanted to argue against that, but knew what he meant. Nearly all of two generations of wizards had perished that day, along with the Dark Lord. She had fled Britain herself in fear of what the Ministry would think if she were the only survivor. There would have been a great deal of suspicion towards her and there would be nobody who could back up what she had actually witnessed and lived through. And so, she fled.

As for Snape, there’s no way he could have gone to the Ministry, as far as they were concerned, he was on Voldemort’s side and had caused great injustices with his murder of Dumbledore and horrific actions during his time as Headmaster. Had she known of his survival, perhaps they could have banded together and provided some manner of explanation of what actually happened and the events that brought them there. Instead, they both somehow ended up in the same foreign city, two years later, in such a fucked up situation that she had no idea how to get out of. 

She realized suddenly, just how tired she was. Her eyes were burning from crying and heavy with exhaustion. Snape recognized her fatigue and lifted himself off the bed.

“Sleep now. We can talk more when you’ve rested.” He gestured for her to take the bed and sensed her reluctance at the offer. He waved his hand dismissively. “I barely sleep anymore and I can’t have you sleeping uncomfortably in an armchair. Hold on one moment…”

He walked past her and disappeared for a moment behind a small wall. She heard him open a drawer, close it, and came back holding a fresh t-shirt and pants, which he had already Transfigured into something more to her size.

She took them with a nod of thanks and he showed her to the bathroom so she could change out of the soaking wet clothes. He merely waved a hand in front of himself and wordlessly cast a drying charm on his own clothes. He would change later. Sliding his scarf off his neck and placing it on the back of a kitchen chair, he then slumped down into it and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

What had he gotten himself into?


	3. Chapter 3

Severus sat in the dark, slumped in his armchair, legs fully extended out on the floor and crossed at his ankles in front of him, loosely holding a small glass filled with Muggle whisky as he watched the girl that had so abruptly tumbled into his life who was now sleeping soundlessly in his bed. His shields had utterly crumbled the moment he grasped just who had literally crashed into him an hour ago in the deserted streets of Chicago. 

But they were certainly back up now, and he was once again able to think clearly, though, that didn’t resolve the confusion he was currently battling. Of all the places they could choose to hide, it couldn’t be a mere coincidence that the only two survivors of the Hogwarts battle had chosen the same city. In America. Within a relatively close distance to one another. Although, he had no idea where she was residing yet and it was possible that wherever she had been running from was not where she was currently living. Still, he couldn’t shake the fact that this whole situation was quite suspicious and he had a mind to wonder if this was some clever trap conspired by the Ministry. 

After all, his body hadn’t been among the dead - come to think of it, neither had hers apparently - and although there hadn’t been anything in the media about a manhunt, he was certain the Ministry had launched one in secret, as that would be the most efficient way of capturing him. It was entirely possible the Ministry had located him and instead of simply coming to arrest him, were using Miss Granger to reel him in. If this were the case, he would need to kill her and disappear. The thought made him shudder and he lifted the glass to his lips and downed half of what remained in one swift swallow. 

To become privy to another survivor only to have to kill that survivor only hours after discovery was not something he was inclined to do. Especially not when that survivor was one of the brightest students he had ever taught. Sure, she had been a constant thorn in his side, the insufferable know-it-all friend of Harry Potter, but she  _ was _ quite intelligent. And seemed genuine enough. As much as his students hated him and often referred to him as a  _ greasy git _ , and worse, he never noticed Miss Granger joining in the jests made against him, nor did she seem the vindictive type. And since she knew the truth he provided to Potter in the end, he thought it would be even less likely that she would cooperate with the Ministry. If the Ministry had gotten ahold of her, no doubt the Gryffindor would have made some valiant attempt at clearing his name which would have probably resulted in her incarceration for having lost her mind. Of course, all this was barring the idea that the Ministry had any knowledge of her existence at all. 

Taking a smaller sip of whiskey this time, he turned his thoughts to the words she had spoken to him for the first time in over two years: “ _ I think I might have killed someone.”  _

Another can of worms to deal with. Wonderful. This was an issue that needed immediate attention. He had wanted to address it further, but Granger had been in no condition to think clearly or rationally. He planned on allowing her to sleep for just a few hours before waking her up to discuss what options were at their disposal. 

If she  _ had _ indeed killed a Muggle with Impulsive magic and the authorities discovered the body before they had a chance to deal with it, there would be an investigation. An investigation that would no doubt be handed over to the wizarding authorities and thus would certainly raise a load of red flags he had no desire to deal with. If this boy was dead and they managed to get there before the authorities, Vanishing a body was simple enough, but a missing persons case was just as dangerous as a murder investigation. Being the girlfriend who disappeared after his death, she would doubt be a top suspect. Although she was likely using a fake Muggle name, as he was doing, it wouldn’t take the authorities terribly long to piece out who she actually was and they’d soon be looking for Hermione Granger.

Severus polished off the whiskey and set the glass down on the small table next to his armchair before bringing his hand up to his face and rubbing his eyes. And now, thanks to the cruel gods of fate, he was once again tied to the insufferable Gryffindor. 

On the other hand, there was the possibility that she had merely injured the boy, though he didn’t seem that was likely, and he was still alive. If this were the case, and Severus truly hoped it was, all they needed to do was find him and have Hermione perform a simple Obliviate. He’d never known his life to be quite that simple, however. And his life had just become exponentially more complicated, even if she hadn’t killed someone. 

Severus had himself a shower and a shave before shuffling into fresh clothes around six thirty. He prepared a pot of coffee and some toast with jam for when he woke Granger up. She would need her strength to get through the day they were about to have. At seven, he placed a hand lightly on her shoulder and shook her gently awake.

Her eyes opened and for a moment it appeared to Severus that she did not know where she was. Not surprising. However, once she saw him, she relaxed slightly and sat up on her elbows as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. 

“Oh. Right…how long was I out?” 

“Just a few hours,” he replied, walking into the kitchen to fetch the freshly brewed coffee. He poured two mugs. “Milk or sugar?” 

“Black is fine,” she replied, sitting up and allowing her feet to dangle over the edge of the bed. She really disliked black coffee, but couldn’t bring herself to bother him for it. Right now, she really just needed the caffeine anyway. 

Severus handed her one of the mugs before finding his seat in the armchair again and stared at her through thoughtful black eyes.

“First off...I’ll need to know what name you’ve been hiding under.

“Penelope Clearwater. It’s the alias I used when Harry, Ron and I were hunting Horcruxes.”

Severus scoffed at that under his breath. Too many syllables. Instead, he said, “Fine. You can refer to me as Leonard when we’re in public or we think someone could be listening. Otherwise, Severus if you please. There’s no need to revert back to formalities.” He knew the girl would probably feel the need to continue calling him ‘Professor’ or ‘Professor Snape’ or ‘sir’ and he needn’t be reminded as often of his former life.

“Okay, sir - er...Severus,” Hermione replied, his first name rolling off her tongue awkwardly. He merely rolled his eyes in response. 

“Now that’s out of the way, we need to discuss this boyfriend of yours. I’m assuming you live with him and this morning’s events occurred at that location?” 

Hermione nodded. 

“Any roommates?” 

“No. Just us.” 

“Are there family or friends who frequently visit?” 

Hermione hesitated. “No family, no...friends...well...I wouldn’t call them friends, really.... But there are quite a few people who come and go a lot.” She was looking down at the floor, hiding her face.

Severus sighed. He knew that trend all too well, living above a bar that also acted as a front for drug running. And based on her current posture, it appeared he was correct in his evaluation of her response. “He’s a drug dealer then?” 

She shrugged timidly, still avoiding his eyes. 

Severus once again rolled his eyes. “Whatever it is you’ve been involved with the past two years is none of my concern at the moment. What  _ is _ my concern, however, is the fact that you might have killed your Muggle boyfriend and are now hiding in my flat. You can see how this puts me in quite a precarious situation, do you not?” 

She nodded again, slowly. 

“Right then. Time is working against us at this point and I need to know the likelihood of someone discovering a body before we can get to it.” 

Hermione shook her head, now looking up at him. “Not very likely, I don’t think. I told you, we live alone and he doesn’t really have any family or anything. He’s got...people he associates with, but nobody really comes by until later at night...and we were alone this morning when...when I attacked him. Nobody saw me.” 

“Good. Now, we need to know if you’ve  _ actually _ killed him or if he’s just been injured. Which means we’ll need to go back there. Sooner rather than later. Now, preferably.”

“And if he’s  _ not  _ dead?” she asked, fear swimming back into her brown eyes now. 

Severus looked at her carefully, then very calmly said, “It would be a much better situation for us both if he is still alive. Whatever he’s done to you, he won’t ever be doing it again. If he is alive and we can track him down, all you’d need to do is Obliviate him.” 

“I don’t have a wand and I haven’t been able to produce wandless magic - well, except for this morning - for over a year.” 

Severus thought for a moment. “You may use my wand. Come on, stand up. Let’s see if we can’t get you going again.” He stood up, and she slowly rose as well, tossing the blanket to the side and setting her coffee mug on the small side table next to Severus. 

He extended his wand to her and she took it, holding it unsuredly in her hand.

“Try something simple...perhaps one of the spells you first learned at Hogwarts and one you’re particularly skilled at,” Severus suggested. 

Hermione didn’t even have to think about it. She walked over to the front door and pointed the wand at the handle. “ _ Alohomora _ .” The word came out flat and uncertain. Nothing happened. She attempted twice more to no avail and Severus huffed and walked over to her. 

“Just relax, Hermione. Close your eyes and  _ think  _ about the spell. Remember how you felt when you first used magic, when you cast your first successful spell. You must focus on your inner core of magic. It’s still there, I assure you. Draw upon it and try again.”

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She thought about the spell; the first time she cast it and the many times after. She had always been in  _ need _ of using it, but now that the spell wasn’t necessary, she seemed to be having trouble focusing. She spoke the incantation thrice more and thrice more she failed. She groaned in frustration and leaned up against the wall. 

Severus glared at her, but his eyes softened slightly when he reminded himself that she was probably traumatized and would need to try a different approach. 

“What if I were to attack you? Do you think you’d manage a shield charm or counter spell?”

“I don’t know,” she said, exasperated.

“Let’s give it a go, shall we?” he replied, backing up to put some space between them. She stood up straight and prepared nervously for his attack. He sent a medium-strength Stinging hex at her, which she attempted to repel with a Protego. The spell sparked at the tip of Severus’ wand, but fizzled almost just as quick and his hex caught her in the shoulder. She cried out and grabbed her shoulder with her free hand, looking at Severus in hurt shock. 

He barely hesitated before sending another one at her, this time at her feet. She tried another Protego, which failed, but she managed to leap out of the way before his spell landed. Severus continued his assault, blasting at her with controlled hexes, which she had to physically avoid while her spells continued to fail her.

She was dashing about the small apartment in an attempt at dodging his spells. He was clearly going easy on her, but soon began casting more serious hexes and throwing in one or two nastier curses, which started to really piss her off. And she was now getting tired.

“Come on, Granger,” he growled. “ _ Focus! _ ” And then, “ _ Crucio!” _

He hadn’t meant to speak that spell. He had just been running out of ideas to get the reaction he was looking for from her, and it just slipped out. Luckily, she leapt out of the way just in time and tumbled to the floor, pointing Severus’ wand at him and yelling: “ _ Stupefy!”  _ with all the force she could muster. A bright flash flickered at the tip of the wand and the spell slammed into Severus, causing his body to seize up as he flew back into the armchair and slumped to the floor. 

Hermione stared at him, wide-eyed before scrambling over to him. “Shit! I’m sorry! Severus, are you okay?” 

His eyes were open and he was breathing, but it took him a moment to shake the spell and compose himself. “Well done, Granger. And don’t be sorry.” 

She smiled in relief and looked at his wand in awe. “That was...intense. And felt quite different than I remember…” 

Severus sat up with his back against the front of the armchair as he recovered. It had been quite some time since he’d been hit with a spell. He had almost forgotten what it felt like.  _ Almost.  _ At least she hadn’t reflected his Cruciatis. “Not uncommon when using another wizard’s wand. But we can discuss magical theory at another date, for now, let’s continue. You’ll need to strengthen your magic further if you’re going to produce a successful Obliviate.” 

Hermione spent the next half an hour practicing simple non-combat spells before returning to mock-dueling with Severus. By eight o’clock, she had successfully cast most of the spells she had known before and given Severus another half dozen minor wounds and bruises by the time he decided she was ready.

They sat down at Severus’ small kitchen table to eat breakfast and finish up their coffee after Severus patched himself up. 

“Thank you,” Hermione said quietly after swallowing a bite of dry toast. “For helping me, I mean. I forgot how determined I can be when I want to impress my teachers.”

“I’m not your teacher anymore, Granger,” he replied, flatly. 

“True, but...what we just did was  _ kind  _ of like a lesson.” 

It was true, Severus knew. He knew enough about the girl to know how well she responded to instruction. Some things never change. He ignored her, however. They needed to get back down to business now. 

“Now, then. I don’t feel comfortable waiting any longer. Get yourself ready and let’s get over there, shall we?”

She chewed the remaining bit of toast and washed it down with a little orange juice before leaving to change and freshen up in the bathroom. As she walked past him, he couldn’t help but notice that the t-shirt he had given her that morning to sleep in had been Transfigured into a long-sleeve shirt. Curious. He made a mental note to ask about that later. 

Severus finished his own toast, chewing thoughtfully before swallowing and washing it down with what was left of his coffee. His gaze landed on the bathroom door as he considered just how likely it was that she was laying a trap for him. He didn’t think it was very likely, but the whole situation was just way too weird to be merely a coincidence. However, years of being a spy had vastly improved and honed his ability to read people, to read atmospheres and energies in a room, and Granger just seemed legitimately terrified of this boy she may or may not have killed and whatever she’d gotten herself into. She also seemed genuinely shocked to have run into him, too.

He heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on and he shook himself out of his train of thought. There wasn’t much left to do except go along with the plan he had set forth and hope for the best. 

****

They approached Hermione’s apartment complex forty-five minutes later after riding the “L” four stops west from Severus’ flat location. Severus had cast Disillusionment charms on both of them and they currently stood on the opposite side of the street of her complex. People were scattered about the street, walking briskly and ignoring everyone else around them. Typical city mentality. Severus imagined they probably didn’t even need to bother with the Disillusionment charm. 

Spotting no police vehicles anywhere in the vicinity, it appeared safe enough to cross the street and enter the small courtyard of the complex. 

“Here,” she said, pointing to a pair of doors, then moved her finger up towards a window. “On the second floor, there.”

She began walking towards the entryway doors with Severus in tow before she stopped and turned around. “Can you stay here, please? Just a first?” 

Severus looked down at her, brows furrowed. “Why…?” 

“If he’s alive and walking around, he won’t be happy if I show up with some strange man. He’s...unpredictable and jealous and...dangerous.”

“I’m dangerous…”

Hermione flinched at the rumbling of his voice when he said that. It reminded her of the tone he would often use during class at Hogwarts. God, that seemed a lifetime ago now. 

“Just...please trust me? I need to scope things out.” 

He eyed her suspiciously again, but reluctantly waved her off to it. He’d maybe have to use Legilimency on her later. 

She gave him a curt nod and turned back towards the front doors, pulling out a small key from her pocket, unlocking the door and entering. He watched as she disappeared up the stairs. He began to pace, his hand ready to go for his wand if this was indeed a trap...or if she needed help. 

A few moments passed and he was beginning to worry, glancing up at the window she had pointed out was hers. He saw some movement and the window shuffled open and her head stuck out. 

“He’s not here!” she yelled in a whisper loud enough for him to hear. 

Severus looked around to make sure no one else was around. “What the bloody hell do you mean he’s not there?” 

Hermione let out a huff and was about to respond when Severus saw her head snap back from the window as she let out a small shriek of pain and surprise. 

Severus dashed into action, flicking the front doors open with a wave of his hand and all but flew up the stairs to the second floor. He flicked the unit door open in the same manner and stepped inside to find Hermione struggling with a young man he assumed was Anthony. A blonde haired boy of medium height, looking disheveled in a pair of ripped baggy jeans and a white t-shirt stained and dirty and looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks. He had Hermione on the ground and looked to be trying to kick her in the ribs while she curled up against his leg, grasping it to prevent him any leverage. She didn’t have his wand anymore and they hadn’t gotten around to practicing wandless or non verbal magic yet. 

Severus had his wand pointed directly at the boy, who had now turned to gape at him. Hermione pushed away from him and scrambled to her feet, breathing heavily and grasping her sides as she bent over slightly. 

“You get some sort of sick satisfaction from beating up on women, do you?” Severus drawled, kicking the door closed behind him, wand still focused on the boy. 

Anthony shot a glare in Hermione’s direction before drifting his eyes to Severus’ wand. “Hey, man, I don’t want any trouble from your type. Take the bitch, I don’t care. She’s more trouble than she’s worth.”

Severus took a step forward, wand still trained steadily upon the boy. “Oh, I don’t disagree with you there...however, I think you’ve landed yourself in  _ very  _ deep trouble indeed with...my  _ lot… _ ”

At that, Anthony made an attempt to dart away and Severus said in a bored voice, “ _ Petrificus Totalus, _ ” and the boy immediately dropped to the floor, rigid, with a loud thud.

Hermione and Severus stood silent for a moment, wondering if anyone below them had heard the commotion. After several minutes passed, Severus moved swiftly to stand next to Hermione.

Severus cast a few protection and silencing wards before checking on Hermione. 

“Are you injured?” he asked. 

She winced. “Maybe a little, but I’m fine.” 

Severus took his wand in his hand and extended it to her. “No time like the present, then.” 

She reached up, wincing a little at the pain in her sides. She rolled the wand about in her hand for a moment, trying to get a feel for it once again. 

She shifted her focus back to Anthony, who was still lying motionless on the floor between them.  _ Bastard. _ For a brief moment, Hermione had a thought to hit him with the killing curse rather than just Obliviate him. She’d never cast the Avada before, but she was sorely tempted to do so now. Thinking back to all the horrible things he had done to her, had other people to do her and made her do to other people...the words were on the tip of her tongue as she shifted her eyes towards Severus. He looked back at her with one lifted eyebrow. 

“Well? Get on with it then…” he said, flatly. 

She extended her arm downward to point the wand at Anthony. Closing her eyes, she went deep down inside herself and tried to find her magical core again. Taking a deep breath, she directed all of her focus on her magical energy, which she could now feel bubbling up inside of her.  After a long moment, she finally whispered, “ _ Obliviate.”  _


	4. Chapter 4

The spell had worked better than she thought it would, and she was incredibly pleased with herself. Severus didn’t seem all that impressed and seemed eager to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. 

She had given the wand back to him and disappeared into a bedroom to collect her belongings. Severus waited patiently in the living room where Anthony lay perfectly still, stunned and unconscious on the floor.

Hermione spent ten minutes gathering her possessions, which she had tossed in a small grey backpack, strapped over her shoulder as she re-entered the living room. She stood, awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed.

“Um. Thanks for your help, Severus.” 

He shrugged. “Don’t mention it.” 

“I guess...I’ll see you around? Or not…” 

He raised an eyebrow and stared at her from across the room, dark eyes boring into hers. “And where, pray, do you plan to go?”  _ Hmmpf. Like he cared. _

Hermione shrugged. “I’ll figure something out. I’ve managed more or less on my own thus far.” 

If it were possible, Severus’ eyebrows inched higher on his forehead and looked around the room with his eyes. “This is what you call managing on your own?”

Aside from the stunned Muggle on the ground, the room was filthy, littered with empty and half-filled beer cans and liquor bottles, food wrappers and clothing lying haphazardly about the floor and furniture. An array of drugs were scattered about the coffee table, among a lot of other random items, and the kitchen was a disaster with dirty dishes piled high in the sink and countertops. The floor was dusty and dirty with footprints, many of the wooden floorboards warped and splintered and the rug under the coffee table looked as though it hadn’t been cleaned in years. Severus had also noticed several holes in the wall of the hallway near the bedroom and bathroom; he was sure they were punch holes.

How the hell could she live like this?

Hermione ignored his question and moved towards the front door. Severus stepped in front of it, blocking her path. 

“Please move. I’d really like to leave now.”

Severus made no effort to move, simply continued staring at her, clearly unsure of what to do at this juncture. A large part of him was screaming at himself to move away from the door and just let her leave. It was certainly the smartest option, and they could go their separate ways and chalk this short-lived experience to a mere freaky coincidence. He could go back to living his life of solitude, which he liked to be quite honest. It was simple, now. He only had to look out for himself,  _ finally _ , for the first time in his life. Things were easy now, although he admitted life was boring at times, but easy and bored was much better than hard and chaotic. And nobody was hurting him anymore.

Hermione stood patiently at the door, but Severus could feel anger - and something else - radiating from her body. Knowing Anthony would soon come around, there wasn’t much time to hash out this little impasse right here and now. The threat of discovery was increased as well the longer they stayed there. 

After a moment, Severus finally moved aside, allowing Hermione to open the door and storm out, leaving the door open behind her. Severus moved his jaw to the left in thought for a moment before exiting into the hallway and closing and locking the door wordlessly. He heard the main doors of the apartment close and watched her as she turned right and began walking sternly down the city sidewalk, making no motion to follow her. He waited a few minutes before heading down the stairs and out the doors, crossing straight over the intersection to begin his long walk home.

***

He couldn’t stop thinking about her. It had taken him four hours to arrive back at his apartment on foot. He hated walking around the city during the daytime, but it wasn’t nearly as busy as it was during rush hours and he kept to side streets mostly. And, it was quite pleasant out; there wasn’t a cloud in the blue sky and the sun warmed his face against the chilly October wind. He was glad he had remembered to wear his scarf.

He had put up his shields during his walk, not wanting to allow himself to think about what had transpired in the last eight hours until he was back safely in his apartment. Now, he sat in his armchair again, whiskey in hand as he brooded in the dark. He had drawn the shades and only a few thin strands of light streaked across the room.

He shouldn’t have let her leave. Everything inside of him had been screaming not to let her go, to offer her a sanctuary until she sorted herself out. His mind was swimming with so many questions, not just about her, but questions about just what it means that there’s another survivor. A survivor who played an important role in the defeat of Voldemort, just as he had. And although a large portion of wizarding Britain were dead, there was  _ still _ life there. 

Severus wondered what kind of life it was. Had the Ministry finally come to their bloody senses and started appointing  _ qualified  _ individuals who actually knew what they were doing? Had they been working towards executing the ideals that they all had fought and died for? Severus had little, if any, faith in the Ministry, even during the first war they proved to be less than helpful. Oh sure, there were a handful of employees who took their jobs seriously and took the war seriously, but the Ministry as a whole could have done much more to contribute to the war effort. It certainly would have taken some of the pressure off the Order and those at Hogwarts, that’s for damn sure.

Severus hadn’t thought about his former life and home in some time, and running into Hermione had broken the dam. Her existence was an opportunity. An opportunity to maybe go home. That had not been an option before. He had been quite resigned to the idea of his nice little calm life once he had settled in here, but now he was feeling... _ thirsty _ for more. What kind of life was this, really? It was fucking lonely is what it was. His old life had been a physical and emotional agony, yes, and he was lonely then, too, but he at least talked and interacted with people. He had his job working with students and colleagues. And of course there was the Order and Dumbledore and yes, even Voldemort and the Death Eaters...he was  _ around _ people enough of the time that he quite frankly enjoyed the moments of solitude he had then - when people around him weren’t lying to him or keeping secrets from him or teasing him or outwardly hating him, or physically and emotionally abusing him...

Another sigh and sip of whisky down the hatch. Now his life was nothing  _ but _ solitude. He quite literally had  _ no one  _ and he hadn’t realized how much it was affecting him until he ran into her - or rather, she ran into him. And she had pressed her body full into him when she had collapsed and sobbed into his chest, all choked sobs and frizzy wet hair. He had been in such shock at the time, he hadn’t paid any attention to the sensation of warmth he felt from her body. Severus shook his head in an attempt to divert his thoughts from drifting that direction. It was a pointless thread of thought to follow anyway - he was well aware of how bereft of human contact he’d been his whole life, it was simply nice to feel the touch of another human regardless of the circumstances. It made him feel as if he did, indeed, exist.

But, she was gone now. He had let her go because he was a selfish bastard and well, some things just never change. Severus downed the remainder of the whiskey in his glass before standing up and pouring himself two - no, three - measures of the dark amber liquid. He slumped back down in his armchair once more. 

He could go look for her. It was a huge city, but how far could she have gotten, really? He doubted that she wasn’t thinking about him as he was her. Perhaps she hadn’t gone too far in hopes that he would go after her? He frowned at that and scoffed. Unlikely. She couldn’t wait to get out of Anthony’s apartment and away from them both. She hadn’t even looked back. Perhaps she  _ would  _ be alright on her own. She clearly had a mind to get away from that wanker of a boyfriend - that was something, at least. He should give her more credit. She had been a brilliant student, after all, but he had little idea of what level of street smarts she possessed.

_ It’s not your problem. _

But it kind of was, now. He had been in the habit of protecting his students for so long and although she wasn’t his student anymore, he couldn’t help but think that he had failed her in that regard. 

But what could he have done, really? It’s not as if she’d live with him. For one thing, his apartment was tiny. He didn’t need much space, but it was quite cramped even for him. He’d never lived with anyone before, either, especially not a young woman. A young woman whom he had taught not very long ago and who had hated him for many years. She’d probably prefer to be homeless than live with the likes of him. He scoffed at that and downed a small gulp of his drink and set it down on the table beside him. 

He could have at least offered to give her some money, he supposed, but he didn’t have much to spare if he was to have enough cash to last him at least another few years? He’d have to find work at some point in the future. The future was more uncertain to him now than it had ever been. There were more possibilities now knowing Hermione was alive and out there somewhere. He bit at his lower lip as he came to the decision that he would go and look for her. He wouldn’t look terribly hard, but it was a beautiful autumn this year and it wouldn’t hurt to be out more often for some fresh air. The winters here were fucking harsh and he didn’t much enjoy being outside then. If he was going to find her, now was the time.

***

Severus spent most of that week’s evenings and mornings walking around the city. He was still wary of walking around during the daytime if he could help it. He wasn’t really concerned about being recognized or found out by the wrong people, but he always took precaution when he could. He’d visit little coffee shops and diners and bookshops, as it simply going about his night like any other inhabitant of the city, keeping an eye out for the girl with frizzy curly hair. 

He slept occasionally during the daytime - Merlin, he really was a vampire - but mainly spent his time thinking and brooding in the dark while sipping on his whiskey - or scotch when it fancied him. His cigarette use had accelerated, too, he had noticed. He’d been going through half a pack a day by the end of the week, which was a lot for him. Normally, he’d just have one right after waking up and perhaps one or two during his strolls through the city at night. 

He wasn’t having any luck at all in locating Hermione. She really could be anywhere and it’s not as if he could start asking around. It had occurred to him that it was possible that she left the city and was attempting to find some other place to hide out, but it didn’t seem likely. He didn’t think she had the resources for such a risky move.

Defeated one early morning about ten days after he had seen Hermione last, he collapsed onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling while lying on his back, limbs sprawled out lazily on the bed. He had walked around the city from eight that night until - he looked at his watch - four fifteen in the morning. He was exhausted, despite being in pretty decent shape from all the walking he had been doing. Closing his eyes, he let out a long, hard sigh. Maybe it’s for the best, after all. Go back to your nice little calm life, Severus, he told himself. It’s not so terrible, is it? You’re alive and in relatively good health. Nobody bothers you and nobody is hurting you anymore.  _ And this is what you wanted. _

With that thought, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep for the first time in two days. 

His dreams were solemn and dark. He was floating in some unknown space, unable to see anything of substance. He was floating, alone, in the dark with no sense of anything around him. He was searching. Searching for anything to touch or hold onto, but there was simply nothing in this dead space he alone occupied. He found that he could swim, but he wasn’t suspended in water. He moved his hands in front of him in a swimming motion, legs kicking behind him to propel himself forward. He still couldn’t see anything and it seemed as though he weren’t moving at all. He swam faster still, but no matter how far or how desperately he swam, there was no destination to be found. Just endless dead space followed by more endless dead space. He tried to speak, but no sound emerged from his throat. 

Then, a muffled thudding. It echoed all around him and he had no perception of where it could possibly be coming from. He swam despairingly about, his limbs flailing hurriedly in an attempt to bring himself closer to the sound. The thudding became louder in his brain but he still couldn’t sort out the source. Settling himself, suspended motionless in this weird weightless substance, he allowed himself to listen intently, closing his eyes. The thudding continued to echo around him, and something else. A question. Someone’s voice. Another question. He couldn’t make out what the question was. It sounded like one word being repeated over and over. 

His black eyes opened and he was staring once again at his apartment ceiling. The thudding had stopped and he found that he had a pounding headache. No doubt that’s what the thudding had been. It was common for him to wake with his head splitting in two. It’s partly why he didn’t bother to sleep much. He was tired of pain and it was less painful to be awake for days on end than it was to sleep and wake up feeling like this. 

He sat up and swung his legs around to set his feet on the bare floor. He stood up and shuffled his way to the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and pulling out a bottle of Advil. He popped four into his mouth and swallowed before looking at his reflection in the mirror. 

Fuck, he looked terrible. He hadn’t shaved for two days and his stubble was already getting out of control. His eyes were bloodshot and hollow. He checked his watch which told him he’d only slept for three hours. Letting out a small groan, he rubbed at his face and considered having a shave, but ultimately decided against it. He brushed his teeth, however, before exiting the bathroom and heading to the kitchen to put something into his stomach.

After he consumed the flavorless oatmeal, Severus eyed the bottle of scotch sitting half empty on his bedside table. Probably too early to drink. He decided it’d be better if he just went and had a smoke, so he fished the pack and lighter out of his coat pocket, slipped his boots on and opened his front door. 

He stopped mid stride when he saw what was outside his door. Hermione was curled up in a ball on the floor just outside his door, using her backpack as a pillow. She was asleep. Severus rubbed the stubble on his face and chin while he stared down at the girl in disbelief. He let out a small huff of amusement through his nose and shook his head, stepping forward towards her and leaning down to shake her awake. 

“Hermione…” he whispered. He almost didn’t use her given name, but he didn’t see anyone around at all. 

She shifted and mumbled something in her sleep but did not wake. 

He shook her a little more firmly. “Hermione...wake up.” 

Her eyes opened and she looked up at him with a small smile. “Professor…” she murmured, sleepily. 

“How long have you been out here?” 

“I’m not sure...what time is it?” 

“Bout seven.” 

She sat up and leaned her back against the wall. “Um. Maybe a few hours? I knocked a bunch but when you didn’t answer, I assumed you might be out. I sat down to wait for you and I guess I fell asleep.

He was bent down, putting all of his weight on his toes, and he rose, offering a hand to help her up. “Let’s go inside then, shall we?” 

She hesitated, but grabbed her backpack with one hand and took his hand in the other, allowing him to help her up. He held the door open for her, letting her inside first before following her inside and closing the door. He re-cast his protection and silencing wards for good measure.

Severus went straight for the whiskey, grabbing his glass and filling it halfway. He turned to Hermione, who was standing in the middle of the room looking uncomfortable. “Drink?” he asked, gesturing his glass in her direction. 

“Um, no thank you. Can I just have some water, maybe?” 

“Of course.” He set his drink down and went to the kitchen to grab a glass and fill it with fresh water. He walked over to her, extended it to her and she took it from him. 

“Thank you.” 

There was a long silence as Severus padded back into the living room, picked up his drink, gulped it down in one swig and refilled his glass. “So...what are you doing here?”

She sighed. “I’m not sure.”

It was Severus’ turn to sigh. He took a small sip of his drink, set it down and folded his arms across his chest as he looked over at her, considering his next words carefully. “I meant what I said about not caring about what you’ve been up to the last two years. Whatever it is you’ve involved yourself in, it’s none of my business. However, if you are feeling compelled to discuss it, I would not turn away from the conversation, nor would I pass judgement upon you.” 

She looked back at him, her brown eyes filled with a mixture of hope and uncertainty that he understood all too well. “Perhaps one day I’ll want to talk about it..but it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m done with that part of my life and...I guess I just...wanted to feel... _ safe _ again.” 

“So, you came here?” he asked, incredulous, looking around at his shabby apartment in a bad neighborhood. Did she mean she felt safe with him?

She stumbled a little on her words. “I just mean, eventually I want to feel safe again.  _ Be _ safe again…” She hesitated as if wanting to say more. Severus stayed quiet and waited for her to continue. She took a deep breath. “A time after the War, I didn’t care what happened to me anymore. I had done a lot of things after the War that really messed me up...and at some point, I just stopped caring. Long story short, I ended up here and met Anthony and he was able to give me a way to forget it all.”

Severus let out a breath through his nose. He hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath. “He gave you drugs…” It wasn’t really a question. 

“Yes,” she said firmly, looking ashamed.

Severus shrugged. “Given the circumstances, I can’t say I blame you.” He had done his fair share of drugs in his youth, when he first became a Death Eater and for some years after Lily’s death. “So, what changed?” 

“He did. Anthony. He had been really nice to me in the beginning. He took me in and gave me a place to stay and made me feel...I don’t know...just... _ good. _ ..But his whole demeanor changed when he was doing harder drugs and was drunk. He’d...get violent…” she trailed off and got quiet then. 

Severus picked up his drink again and took a swig. She didn’t need to go into details. He had enough personal experience to know what happens when drunken men turned violent. He could understand and even sympathize with what she was talking about, but he had no idea what to say to her that would bring her comfort.

“Anyway, I stopped using a few months ago but couldn’t really leave Anthony because I don’t have a lot of money and was afraid to be on my own. He was still so horrible and I was then sober enough to care and eventually I flipped out, the night I ran into you.”

“I see…” Severus said lightly. “Where have you been staying since?” 

“A co-worker has been letting me crash on her couch. We work at a diner.” 

“You work….at a diner…” he said in disbelief, regretting his tone when he saw her blush in shame. He hadn’t meant it in a demeaning way. He just knew she was far above such work. He knew she could be so much more.

“Yeah well...what do you do for work, then?” she retorted, a little coldly. 

“Nothing.” 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “You don’t work?” 

He shook his head and shrugged. “I had enough reserves to last me some time. Settling down in a city like this is probably draining me faster than I care to admit, but I’m not in terrible shape. I know I’ll need to find something at some juncture.” He cleared his throat, taking another sip of his drink.

She didn’t seem to have anything to say about that. “Anyway, my co-worker is married with a kid on the way and I was starting to feel like I was overstaying my welcome. She said I could stay as long as I like, but I know she was just being nice. So, I told her I found an apartment and then wandered around for a while before ending up here.” 

“But you don’t actually have somewhere to stay?” 

She shook her head, but locked eyes with him in hopeful abandon. 

Severus rolled his eyes. “You could just ask, you know.”

“I figured you’d say no,” she replied, tossing a strand of hair away from her face. 

He drank again, draining the remaining liquid and stared past her for a moment while he thought. He sighed, finally. “I won’t tolerate a messy roommate. Keep your shit contained and we shouldn’t have a problem.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. “Understand that I’m only agreeing to this  _ temporarily _ until we can sort out this  _ impossible _ situation we’ve found ourselves in.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant for this chapter to continue, but I'm not sure when I'll get another chance to write this week (maybe Friday?), so I thought I'd give you what I finished today.  
> Hermione has a fun little secret she'll be telling Severus in the next chapter. ;)


End file.
